Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Roomie Uninvited

I enjoy living alone in the city. After a busy day at work and crowded streets and subways, it is nice to come back to a quiet apartment (if you pretend the 2nd Avenue subway is not being constructed right under your building). There are times when I wish there was someone around to relax with or wander the streets with or to calm me down when I am about to have a panick attack. Case in point...

I was sitting on my couch enjoy my morning cup of coffee and watching tv when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. When you live alone and you see a shadow looming in your kitchen, no matter how big or small, you freak out. You sit there trying not stare at in in hopes that it was just the sun flashing in and that it will go away. In my case, it wasn't. When the shadow flashed by a second time, this time much larger, I knew something bad was about to happen. Finally, the attacker came out of the kitchen. What appeared to be a small bird at first was actually just the largest moth I have ever seen. This moth was now perched about 2 feet away from me.

I was not looking to keep this creature as a roomie. I had to devise a plan quick before it found its way into my bedroom. Since there are no screens on my windows, I opened them as wide as possible hoping this thing was smart enough to go out the way it came in. After several accounts of trying to brush it out and being attacked in the eye, I went to plan B. This plan I am sure almost every girl can relate to. It involves a dish and a cup. If this moth was not going to leave on its own, I was going to have to capture it. After a half hour of screaming and running around, the moth grew tired of me and stood still long enough for me to put the cup over its massive body. Now the plate. This had to be timed perfectly, because one wrong move, and the moth would fly through a crack and we would have to start all over. Luckily, I have bug catching skills that I was unaware of. Now all I had to do was get it out the window and hope that it would not turn right around and come back in. The moth obviously liked me as much as I liked him because it flew far away from my window never to be seen again.

Just another entertaining morning.

Monday, July 20, 2009

FML

I have made plenty of mistakes in my life. I don't think there is really anyone who can say they have never made a single mistake, big or small. The thing about mistakes is that they really come in all shapes and sizes. Some mistakes you know you are going to make before you make them and some mistake you really don't realize how big they are until after the damage is done. Sometimes it takes time for the consequences to really hit. Some people just hide it and move on. I think the best thing to do is learn from it and grow stronger.

I made a mistake that has involved a lot of people that I love. It lives with me everyday. I, instead of hoping it will just disappear, have taken the step to look into it and hope that I can learn from it. I don't want to ever make a mistake like this again, as I may have potentially lost the person I love. You can't take back certain actions and behaviors, but you can promise to never do them again knowing that the way you feel after is something you do not want to have back. My mom always said to me that she knew when I was up to no good and doing something wrong, but instead of stopping me, she let me go hoping I'd be smart enough to learn for myself. I thank her for that. If you never do things for yourself and always have people telling you what to do, you'll never really know the real you. What you do in life and the decisions you make help you to be the person you are. Everything is an experience that adds character and knowledge into your life.

Sometimes you need to look at mistakes in this positive light. Nobody is perfect. I know I say the wrong things, act the wrong way, and do the wrong things sometimes. Who doesn't? The only thing to do is try and do what's right. If you get knocked down, at least you know that you tried and it can only make you stronger for next time. I'm not going to say it doesn't hurt, but what in life isn't complicated.